How to listen to support a person

Listening is perhaps the most important support during communication.

Before you give the advice, let the person say what they want to say and listen carefully. In this way you can really understand the situation and needs, help to calm down and offer the necessary help.

There are some important tips below.

Listen carefully

• Try sincerely to understand the person’s point of view and feelings.
• Allow to speak. Don’t start talking until the person has finished.
• Don’t get distracted from the conversation. Try to find another place to chat if it’s too noisy.
• Concentrate on the person and what they are saying.

Repeat

• Repeat the main ideas and key words the person said: “You say that…”.
• Ask for the clarification if something is not understood. For example, “Did you mean that…”, “Could you explain that again, please?”

Summarize what you’ve understood

• Identify and repeat key points, which you have heard. This will help the person to understand that they have been heard, and you will make sure that you understood everything correctly.

For example, “From what you just said, I understood that you were the most worried about (summarize the main problems the person mentioned). Right?”

• Describe the information heard, rather than interpreting the person’s feelings. Do not make evaluative judgments about the person or the situation in which they found themselves.

For example, you can’t say: “You must feel terrible”.

During the conversation, pay attention not only to your words, but also to your body language (facial expression, eye contact, gestures, posture).

Say supportive words to show empathy: “I understand what you’re talking about,” “I hear you”. And also acknowledge any loss or hard feelings the person is sharing: “I’m so sorry to hear that”, “Yeah, it’s really a tough situation”.

Make sure you speak respectfully, according to the person’s culture, age, gender, and religious beliefs. Don’t pressure them or force them to talk if they don’t want to.

* Based on the WHO Guide (the name of the adapted Guide is being clarified).